The First Ten: 0.2% of the Way Complete

EDIT: My math was rusty after so many years of atrophy. The correct percentage is now in the title

My wife Tammy had the great idea that she would revisit an old 5000 Question Survey that we used to answer back in the day and blog the answers over on Writin’ Shotgun.

I figured that’d be a great way for me to keep Kalhoun going for a few days, so decided I’d play along too. Besides, many who know me now didn’t know me back then. I had to return to my dusty, cobwebby, long-forgotten Myspace page to find the little bit I had already done – all the way back in 2005. For many of the answers I’m sure I’ll have something different to say.

I’m guessing 10 at a time – that’ll be good for 500 posts here.

1. Who are you?

Merwyn Douglas Haskett.

[2005 answer: I am Merwyn, hear me roar. Click on my other blogsite, inflate my hit count and send me money.] Is Adsense even still around? I think I had 17 cents floating around in there.

2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?

Before thinking of an answer I checked the Myspace version and got “Ahem…I’ve looked over my previous entry concerning this and I like that answer so go wade through my old MySpace blogs if you really wanna know.” So, wait, there’s an earlier version of me answering these? Hold on a second while I swing the machete and wade back further into time…

Whoa – now we’re back to 2004 where I answered “I’m wanted in 14 states, both testicles are descended, and whenever I get angry or outraged a startling gamma-based metamorphosis occurs.”

Yes, once upon a time I wasn’t connected on any social network to my Mom, In-Laws, Church Friends, Co-Workers, Former Teachers, Nice Old Ladies, or Children Under 18.

Still, two out of three of those still apply today more or less.

3. When you aren’t filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?

Wasting all my writing energy on Facebook Status Updates and Comments.

[2004 Answer: Filling out 5000 point Purity Tests and bragging about the low percentage. 2005 Answer: Waiting for Tammy to finish filling one out so that I can have maybe 30 seconds on the laptop.] Whoops. We’ve come a long way since then, and while the laptop’s dying we have two up-and-running desktops and two notebooks that are in constant use.

4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn’t like at the time).

Some of my favorites were Pam McKinney’s Drama Class, Mrs. Weadham’s US History (and I misspelled her name I’m sure,) Mrs. Barber’s Keyboarding and Business Classes, Mr. McCabe’s Film Ed, and I liked the former Mrs. O’Leary’s Biology class so much I failed it so I could take it twice.

I was never stuck in a class I couldn’t stand, but I was bored stiff by Mr. Willer (Nice guy, but no charisma) and Mr. Curtis’ World History although when he’d get talking on Roman History or Myths he’d suddenly be captivating (Makes sense, he was mainly the Latin teacher.)

[2004 I simply answered: Drama, US History, PE, Film Ed, Human Biology, Sci-Fi Lit, all the classes in between, Economics. 2005 I put it down as: Drama, PE, US History, Film Ed, a bunch of middle ranked classes, Wood Shop.]

Wood shop? I took wood shop for all of one quarter in sixth grade. I hated that teacher. Yerger, Yarger, something like that. He was a complete dick to those of us who didn’t have enough tree sap flowing in our veins.

5. What is your biggest goal for this year?

Oh hell, I don’t know. And it’s the beginning of the year so I should be prepared with an answer. Maybe keep this writing consistent (I have three other WordPress sites waiting for their first entry.)

[2004: Get a job, Pass all my Classes, Vote Bush out of office.] Hey, I got two out of three for that one.

[2005: If you’ll look at my previous entry you’ll find that I failed in the most important of my goals. My new goal is to break more laws.]

And I did, finally tearing a tag off a mattress not long after having posted that.

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Planning Tammy’s surprise 38th.

In 2004 I said something about working on my Masters (wouldn’t I have to have a Bachelors first? And before that an Associates?) In 2005 I predicted that five years later I’d be four years into my sentence. To this day I’ve never so much as been arrested, however I have been sentenced to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within.

7. What stage of life are you in right now?

I just turned 40, thanks for reminding me.

At this point it’s apparent I’m not drawing from the same 5000 Question Survey as I did 9 and 8 years ago, as the question there was What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up? [2004: Ha! When I grow up. I’m 31! Let’s see, I want to be a Lumberjack! 2005: An Insurgent.]

8. Are you more child-like or childish?

I’ve started watching South Park on Netflix (I never watched it consistantly and had up til now only seen random episodes from the first three seasons.) and the bad influence at times is making me childish.

9. What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Yes we do” in answer to if we had blank CDs to record tonight’s Think Tank.

[2004: “OW! Jesus you fat cat!”] Aw, RIP Daphne.

10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?

In 2004 it was Sid’s version of My Way, one year later it was Marilyn Manson’s Fight Song, today…I want to say Fear’s I Don’t Care About You, but that’s not completely accurate. Maybe Pearl Jam’s Rearviewmirror.



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